You wake up one morning and you realize you’re going to have to create a linkedin account.
You hate the idea, you just HATE to give away so many data because you are a real Snowden fan – you even gave Facebook a false birthday so the big bad Web does not your birthday, yep, you are a true rebel.
But you want the money and the financial autonomy more than you want to be unknown on the internet. So you decide to sign a pact with the devil, basically copy-pasting your resume and sending invites to everyone you know. And you wait.
After one week, nothing happens, except you pretentiously divide your linkedin-friends into type-profiles.
1/ your semi-friends who have succeeded (at least according to a Forbes definition of success)
– they have a slightly scary smile on their picture
– they look older than they are
– they recommend terrifying articles about IFRS norms
– they post condescending recommendations of their assistants / interns, who are always “a great addition to the team”, and who look just like them, but four years younger
2/ your semi-friends in work-trouble
Their title (looking for a job in X) makes you want to cry for them. Actually, you should also be writing that you are “looking for a job in X”, but you are way too pretentious. Which leads to funny quiproquos, where linkedin-friends of friends in work-trouble email you to get a job you cannot find for yourself
3/ your semi-friends who were cool … have remained so. None of them is on linkedin.