uschapters
Hard times in New York Town


Tag: We fucking need feminism


oh no!!


Below, a sponsored add on my (private) Facebook account.

I wonder what I find the most depressing:

– the fact that Brad is apparently leaving Angie,

– the fact that there is apparently such a website as goodhousekeeping.com, or

– the fact that I immediately fall into its potential audience …

“Theyre Getting Divorced”
goodhousekeeping.com
Ang Walks Out On Brad And Takes The Kids! You’ll Never Believe Why She Left Him!
The way yoouuuuung lovers do

Matchmaking and feminism?


I found out about a whole new concept just in time for Valentine’s. Matchmakers. Well I knew there were some in Shanghai and probably other parts of the world, but the fact that they are big in NYC is a surprise. But then again, the whole concept of love here is a permanent surprise for me.

So in an article by Garance Doré, Amy Laurent, who is obviously considered “one of the most successful matchmakers in the States”, was uttering fun stupidities about love. I decided to dig in.

  • In the “blog” part of her website, I found the evidence that feminism still has a long way to go, since unfortunately, Pretty woman seems to still be the ultimate dream (unless apparently less charming): “I received some interesting news from one of my clients and his fabulous leggy blonde counterpart, whom I introduced him to (a mere  two months ago). They called to tell me that she was giving up her lease next month to move into his swanky Tribeca triplex.”.
  • Even better: the differences between the “services for men” and “services to women”. Whoever detects all differences will get a free hour of love coaching with me. Bachelors, beware.
19th century painting representing two men carrying another, in an exotic surrounding

We fucking need feminism


My husband and I go to the bank.

First annoying thing. The banker shakes my husband’s hand with a warm “hi”. I get neither the hi, nor the handshake. After a second of hesitation, I coldly reach out to shake his hand. He immediately shakes it with a sorry smile.

Second annoying thing: my husband and I both get the typical semi-paranoid questionnaire. But when I am being asked the question “who are you working for”, the banker immediately answers “so you’re unemployed”. Nothing allows him to make such an assertion. Not our conversation, and not the information previously given to the bank. This nerves me so much that I aggressively reply that no, I am self-employed, which is a half-lie.

We finish the questionnaire and leave macho-bank. My husband gently lectures me, having  noticed the half-lie. Hon, you shouldn’t be so passive-agressive about not working, it’s all right. I explain why I have been annoyed twice. He had not noticed anything. Worse, HE DOES NOT SEEM TO UNDERSTAND.

My current micro-depression finds its deep roots in the loss of my social status. I exist only through him, and through our children. I do not know how to explain this without yelling. So instead I forward him the link to Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s amazing talk.

Las Vegas Parano (New York version)

List of weird things you end up finding normal


– The Dog Market (capital letters required): dog psychic, dog coats, and little shoes. Dogdates, dogs playgrounds, serious conversations about dogs, presents for dogs (seen in a catalog: little doggie diapers)

– Available free bibles everywhere

– the fact that everyone calls you “mommy” (and no-one calls your husband “daddy”)

– the fact that trucks look like children’s toys. They seem to be used just like children’s toys too. Flashing lights and fire alarms everywhere. If only Charlotte could drive and use flashlights, she would behave exactly like this.

– your own stupidity of woman who hasn’t used her brain for way too long. When exactly have you become that socially awkward weirdo who makes disgusting sex jokes to someone she barely knows?

Seven dwarves dressed up

Halloween


So Halloween is really REALLY great. The outfits are beyond extraordinary. I don’t know how long it takes to sew them (or even think about them), but next year there is no way I am not in the parade.

Unfortunately, I don’t think I can ever be as creative as new-yorkers.

1/ I would never have thought about dressing up as mozzarella with all my friends (with filaments of cheese between us). Or if I had, I would never have thought to run a 5k-race dressed like this.

2/ I would never have thought about turning the constraints into a huge creative advantage. Like transform a stroller into Star War’s death star.

3/ best thing ever, animals dressed as other animals (I saw a dog that looked very convincing as a frog).

As nothing is perfect, the feminist in me still suffered: 95% of the little girls are dressed as princesses. Sub top 2: 1/ the unbearable Elsa from Frozen, seen at least 12 times, and Snow White (cost-effective since this is probably the same outfit mommy had, and granny etc since 1937).

Now I have to start sewing Charlotte’s outfit as a french frie cornet for next year (I really saw a burger family, baby as french fries, pregnant mummy as burger and daddy as waiter).

Children with inappropriate outfits (excerpt from a children's law book)

The panty-gate


I dropped Nayla at daycare. The weather was hot and Nayla was wearing a dress. I picked up Nayla from daycare. The weather was hotter, and Nayla was wearing a dress and a pair of leggings. I asked why on earth she would need leggings when it is that hot.

I got a logical answer. So we don’t see her legs. I stupidly said that that’s the whole concept of the dress. The teacher explained further “we are going to the park and she goes down the slide, so people can see her panty. That shouldn’t be the case”.

All I could do was stare and say “but euh, she is two!”. The teacher noticed I was apparently dumber than she’d thought, so she explained further “you know, boys look at her panty and they shouldn’t be able to see it. That’s why she has to wear leggings every day. Otherwise it is not decent”.

Apparently, being two is no good excuse. Apparently, you start being a potential sex prey from a very early age (and boys her age apparently could be potential rapists).

I tried to look into whether our daycare is crazy about sex education or whether the problem is wider. Apparently, it’s the whole country and girls do wear ugly leggings under their pretty dresses.

Yesterday, Charlotte moved in her onesie. I almost saw a breast; I wonder whether she’s going to get arrested for incitement to rape.