So Halloween is really REALLY great. The outfits are beyond extraordinary. I don’t know how long it takes to sew them (or even think about them), but next year there is no way I am not in the parade.
Unfortunately, I don’t think I can ever be as creative as new-yorkers.
1/ I would never have thought about dressing up as mozzarella with all my friends (with filaments of cheese between us). Or if I had, I would never have thought to run a 5k-race dressed like this.
2/ I would never have thought about turning the constraints into a huge creative advantage. Like transform a stroller into Star War’s death star.
3/ best thing ever, animals dressed as other animals (I saw a dog that looked very convincing as a frog).
As nothing is perfect, the feminist in me still suffered: 95% of the little girls are dressed as princesses. Sub top 2: 1/ the unbearable Elsa from Frozen, seen at least 12 times, and Snow White (cost-effective since this is probably the same outfit mommy had, and granny etc since 1937).
Now I have to start sewing Charlotte’s outfit as a french frie cornet for next year (I really saw a burger family, baby as french fries, pregnant mummy as burger and daddy as waiter).
Top three fails :
I lost 1,500 bucks in a pickpocket-but-more-subtle-trick, where you purchase a 30 dollar-phone that ends up costing 1,500 dollars (credit card trick #1).
I was stolen a (single) snow shoe in front of my door on a snowy day. The mystery is agathachristian (the drunken neighbour, the drunken neighbour’s toddler?? a one-legged man?? although that would probably be more davidlynchian)
Dentist: 2 800 dollars and counting. My bold dentist sent me to a scary specialised dentist who devitalized tooth number 18 for 2,800 dollars. He also offered to slay tooth number 17 for 2,600 dollars, and tooth number 19 for also 2,600 dollars (no buy two get one free on tooth apparently).
After a careful observation of my new environment, this is my own personal list of “must haves to adjust to my new aggressive surrounding”.
Yep, I am 100% ready.
I spend time at the park.
I immediately notice that the moms look suspiciously thrilled when they play with their kids.
I then meet a crew of European housewives. They hold either an MBA, or a fancy diploma from a good French university. They all are around 30. They all have two kids, and all of them named Josephine or Edouard. They all wear diamond rings as big as the Ritz. They all seem to hide a gigantic depression under weary smiles and super precise knowledge regarding tae kwon do classes for kids.
– Conclusion 1: I definitely should find a job like right now.
I also meet the first terrifying American women we Europeans are so afraid of. They all have goldy hair graciously fluttering in the wind. They all wear leggings and the same legs as my yoga teacher. They all have pretty 9-month-old daughters who already walk. They all carry yoga mats behind their stroller that looks rather like a caterpillar truck (but a pink-ish version). And worse, they all look nice.
– Conclusion 2: I as well might finish my last European chocolates and binge-watch Watch Men for a while.
Let’s talk about scary Albertine.
To summarize for those who haven’t been pressured by the hype, Albertine is a French book store located right by the Met. So the very chic Antonin Baudry, who co-wrote one of the best French comics in the last few years, decided there HAD to be a French book store in NYC. I agree with Antonin. His network being however slightly more chic than mine, he had the power to have it financed by basically all the successful French firms. Of course, the result is magnificent, but it looks more like a Valentino shop than a regular book store. Which means you are too scared to touch the books, and most of all, your heart stops beating when you think your daughter could fart on the couch. And fuck, a book store is precisely the place where you should feel at ease and fart on the couch.
Bref, the magic of parisian entre-soi at its best.
You knew it would be cold.
You had seen the pictures of cars covered with snow.
You had read the French newspapers, where every year lazy interns copy-paste the same article entitled “a cold wave hit Big Apple yesterday evening”.
You had listened to people coming back from New York in February and talking about the winter like survivors of a Wolfgang Petersen movie.
You were always shaking your head like a stupid little prick when you heard it was unbearable.
You thought you could survive the winters.
You would find out that the semantics doesn’t lie. The cold does have something to do with being devoured. The cold does bite, sting, penetrate, burn and finally eat you alive.
You would find out that unlike new-yorkers, you did not belong to the superior race of those who can survive the winter. Rightly or wrongly, you would infer that americans are super-humans (or their parkas super-parkas).
For months, the sound of Nayla, almost fainting of cold in her stroller and whining “mom, I am cold” would break your heart. (more…)
Path, April 24
Become an egg donor and help a family grow.
Have you considered being an egg donor?
Not only will you earn 8000 dollars, you will be helping fulfill someone’s dream of having child.
Must be 21-32.
Contact IRMS (+ details)